The Chinese film Dear You spoke to my professional interest as a historian studying the connections between South-east Asia and China. The plot also resonated personally with me, though not just because of my Chinese Singaporean heritage. It prompted me to reflect deeper on who I am, and who I am not.As a PhD researcher in the UK, I am frequently mistaken for being a citizen of China. This assumption is often made because I am ethnically Chinese, speak fluent Mandarin, and use Chinese mobile applications such as WeChat. Yet, these characteristics do not define my nationality and identity.Living overseas has strengthened…