Had he not been serious, it would have made superb satire. But he was serious in a new-age baseball way, silly-speak that helps explain the corrosive state of MLB in the hands of analytics-stricken deep thinkers. The words were spoken by Red Sox general manager Chaim Bloom, who said he’s excited to have recently signed Japanese outfielder Masataka Yoshida, 29, to a five-year deal that will cost Boston $105 million. Bloom: “There’s a very unique combination of contact skills and strike-zone discipline and the ability to impact the baseball that we feel has a chance to really impact the game…